Beaches, Milkbones, and tennis balls

Life is filled with many beautiful and wonderful moments, but also the moments where you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

Having to put a beloved pet down is one of those moments.

There is a reason there was not a dry eye in the theater during “Marley and Me”, and why so many people sympathize if they have a pet of their own. They completely get it. 

For me, there is nothing more painful than watching someone, or something you love suffer. Whether it is one of my patients, a friend or family member, or in this case my beautiful 9 year old black lab.

What kind of comfort is there when you are spending the last days with the animal who has loved you so much, completely unconditional, and was a constant shining light in your life.

There is none.

So as I am writing this, sitting next to my beautiful girl. I am thinking about the absolute suckyness of the whole situation. Why again? We lost our other lab Sally only 9 months ago, never thinking our world would come to this standstill again so soon.

Esse had fought so hard not only against the cancer, but the surgeries, and losing her leg. She became a favorite at the University of Minnesota Vet hospital (which is absolutely wonderful), and earned the affection of many including a wonderful resident doctor.

Why her God? And why so soon?

Because I am a Christian the only small comfort in this time is knowing she will be in such a better place so so soon. As much as I love her, and will feel her absence tremendously, the beaches of heaven are calling.

Filled with milkbones, tennis balls, and Sally waiting to teach her the ropes of that wonderful place.

I also thought about what she would want to tell me right now if she could.

She talks with her eyes, carrying more meaning than a conversation. She tells me she loves me not with a voice, but with her actions.

  

She is so loved, and will continue to be loved.

My heart goes out to anyone who has or will eventually lose a pet. It is awful. But they are here for a reason, and God calls them to heaven for a reason. And gosh, the view must be great.

I’ll see you again someday beautiful lady, save me a spot on the beach.

Love you so much my goofy girl.

<3 M  

I do's and Ever afters

So… as everyone knows, based on their fb newsfeed, instagram accounts and pinterest boards, wedding season is in full swing.

Guys roll their eyes as girls chat and giggle and obsess about the flowers, the dresses, the beautiful bride-to-be 

But what is it really about weddings that make us girls so gaga?

Sure, it's always fun to have a day where you can put on a pretty dress, do your hair in something other than that chlorine filled summer throw up-do, and wear a cute pair of heels that you end up taking off halfway through.

But I think there's more to it than the pretty dresses, sappy speeches, and “love eternal” looks everyone makes across the room as the bride and groom embrace. 

For me it's about celebrating everyone. Not only the union of your life and your spouse, but of all your loved ones that come to share in that day.

The memories that are made with all the people who love you both so much. 

I love the part where you get to pick out your bridesmaids (or groomsmen). The girls who have stood by your side for significant points in your life, and get to share in that special day. I think it is the utmost honor. 

I love the goofy pictures. Sure, the posed ones are great, but you HAVE to love the ones where people are REALLY laughing. Making funny faces, wearing ugly Christmas socks, enjoying the moment when you get to stand there with your favorite girls and guys around you and make memories together. 

I love the part where the maid of honor and the best man make embarrassing speeches. Filled with life stories, humiliating moments, and memories that not only honor the couple getting married, but all those around who have been a part of their lives up to that point, and the special bond the bride and groom share with their first attendants. 

I love the part when your parents, who raised you to be who you are, and taught you so much, spend time with you and share in that special moment when you bond your life with someone else's. 

Now don't get me wrong. I like the flowers, and pretty dresses, and the amazing vows that commit two people to each other. I love the prayer that takes place, I like the beautiful churches, and the look the groom gets on his face when she walks down the aisle. It is all beautiful and wonderful, and is an amazing act of love occurring when two people commit their lives to each other. 

But when I’m laying up at the cabin with my sister, or at a favorite coffee shop talking to my dearest friends about our weddings in the future. It isn’t about the flowers and table settings. It is about the memories we hope to make with each other and that future someone.

Giggling about who will make the others wear the ugliest bridesmaid dresses, who should bring the music for the pre-wedding dance party, which embarrassing snapchats that will fill the picture slideshow, what the speeches will contain, all filled with the years of memories we all bring into that special day.

And finally the hope that each one of us finds the man who becomes our other half.

Weddings are about so much more than just the bride and groom. At least I think they should be…and that’s why I adore them so much.

Happy Living

~ M 

Say CHEESE

Can we all just take a moment to praise the good lord that I CAN EAT DAIRY AGAIN.

So bring on the cheese, butter, milk, ice cream… wait… I should probably slow down before I gain a million pounds.

But seriously, someone should alert Pizza Luce that they are not allowed to send me any more GF pizzas…my thighs would thank you. 

ANYWAYS, to celebrate my newfound ease with eating I decided to make my favorite dessert that does not come dairy free… ENJOY! 

Double Chocolate Cheesecake (Gluten free, NOT at all in any way, shape, or form, dairy free)

****Adapted from deep dark chocolate cheesecake from epicuruous.com

 ingredients

Crust

•   1 package gluten free graham crackers (I found mine at whole foods, brand kinnikinnick foods, s'moreables graham style crackers) 

•   1 tablespoon sugar

•   1/4 cup (1/2 stick) butter, melted

Filling

•   2- 4 oz Ghirardelli chocolate bars- chopped (I used 60 percent cacao bittersweet chocolate, but substitute any chocolate you would like)

•   4 (8-ounce) packages cream cheese, room temperature

•   1 1/4 cups plus 2 tablespoons sugar

•   1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder 

•   4 large eggs

Topping

•   3/4 cup whipping cream

•   1- 4oz chocolate bar- dark- chopped 

•   1 tablespoon sugar

•   Bittersweet chocolate curls

preparation

For crust:
Preheat oven to 350°F. Butter 9-inch-diameter spring-form pan with 3-inch-high sides. Blend cookies in processor until finely ground; blend in sugar.(I used a plastic bag and a rolling pin). Add melted butter and process until well blended. Press crumbs evenly onto bottom (not sides) of prepared pan. Bake just until set, about 5 minutes. Cool while preparing filling.

For filling:
Stir chopped chocolate in metal bowl set over saucepan of simmering water until melted and smooth. Remove bowl from over water; cool chocolate until lukewarm but still pourable. Blend cream cheese, sugar, and cocoa powder in processor until smooth. Blend in eggs 1 at a time. Mix in lukewarm chocolate. Pour filling over crust; smooth top. Bake until center is just set and just appears dry, about 1 hour. Cool 5 minutes. Run knife around sides of cake to loosen. Chill overnight.

For topping:
Stir cream, 6 ounces chocolate, and sugar in heavy medium saucepan over low heat until smooth. Cool slightly. Pour over center of cheesecake, spreading to within 1/2 inch of edge and filling any cracks. Chill until topping is set, about 1 hour. 

Release pan sides and remove, add chocolate curls to top.

Happy Living!

~M

My number one

So my posting is VERY infrequent due to the frequency of things school has me doing...

But this weekend warranted a post.... because so many things happened that have me just bursting at the seams with smiles.

To start off, it was a very hard couple weeks at school. Test scores have not been my friend, assignments are never ending, and clinicals drain every ounce of energy I have left over... After my 8 hour shift last thursday I believe it took me 5 whole seconds to lay on the couch and fall asleep.. for three hours...sorry not sorry...

But anyways, after this crazy stressful week I had the most wonderful weekend and I just want to share it with everyone, because good things come to those who wait... and sometimes God puts things in your life when you reach the breaking point and need them the most.

Boy did I need it.

First my boss gave me Saturday off... just because (YAY) ..so I preceded to plan out my weekend of fun starting with that.... I then realized we didn't have a test on monday for nursing which NEVER happens..

usually my sundays are spent in my apartment, pajama pants on, books out, wine glass by my side (just kidding Mom) pouring over pages of nursing (amazingness) trying to figure out how to remember every  single one of the billion.. seriously billion.. hypertension medications out there.

Friday I got to nanny all day for my ADORABLE 4 month old cousin, and got to spend some time with my mom as she came over to visit her niece (and favorite child).

PS babies are a lot of work... wait a while to get knocked up... seriously, just babysit for a baby all day and your legs will be CLOSED.

Saturday I picked up a cake for my friend Sara, grabbed Starbucks, which was graciously paid for by a neighbor who happened to be behind me in line, ran over to her house, and helped her prep for her "girls" party later that day.

I then ran a few more errands, had lunch/coffee with a friend, went to Sara's for the fabulous party, donned my St. Patricks day gear and headed over to my aunt and uncle's St. Paddy's Day party for the night. I was able to see many extended family members that I don't often see, and shared many giggles (and drinks) with the fabulous Dillon clan.

SISTAH SISTAHH

LOVE my uncles.

Sunday I again had my coffee paid for at caribou this time by the very cute barista (male version?) who said.."its your birthday today right? (Cue Maria's puzzled expression) , right yeah happy birthday! You get a free drink! So sweet!

My sister and I then headed downtown to see my cousins perform with their irish dance company at the landmark center. We were able to see even more extended family on my other side, bringing many cousin hugs and catch up sessions.

My heart just gushes watching these girls grow as performers and as young women, and I am so blessed to be able to spend so much time with them during the summer and see them grow through the school year.

I could not be more proud!


I then got a text saying that my U10 girls hockey team that I had gotten so close to last year had made it to the state championship and their game was at 4.

The perfect timing for me to go home, change, and head out to the rink to watch those dear girls play their hearts out. I was unable to help with their team this year due to my school load, and only made a couple games, yet it worked out perfectly for me to make their last game and see them win the state title! Oh boy do i miss seeing those adorable faces every week!

I adore these girls and their wonderful families!

So in a nutshell, it was a weekend full of unexpectedness, new friends, old friends, family, blessings, coffee, and joy.

I KNOW that sounds so cheesy but this weekend gave me just the energizer I needed, and the reminder that no matter how hard things get, just look around and notice all the good things in your life, because THAT is why you work your butt off... to make those people proud.

All the nursing professors say "School should be your number one". No, school is not my number one, yes it is my priority, but my family and friends are my number one. Because if I didn't have all of those people in my life cheering me on, I would not have made it this far in the program.

School isn't a life, people you love and who love you are a life. Appreciate them.

So thank you to all of the people I saw this weekend, thank you for being part of my number one.

Happy Living
~M

Finding "The One"

I recently was asked to write for an awesome blog Called "Girls in Real life" where college girls share their stories about loving themselves and dealing with the day to day pressures in a women's life.

I absolutely LOVED writing for them and thought I should share!
Enjoy!


Finding "The One"

I cannot be the only girl out there who is wondering WHEN will it happen for me, when will I finally meet a decent guy who will take me on dates, send me texts just because, and give me butterflies.

I am still young, still have so much ahead of me, but that longing for companionship can sometimes be discouraging in the life of a nursing student stuck in the constant pile of homework, and countless hours of work

Even through the craziness of my school life, I still wonder when it will happen, when I will meet “that guy” and be able to gush about how in love I am.

On those days when I find myself thinking about this, I remember a statement I read somewhere in an article about being “in your 20’s” It went something like this:

The most important thing you will do in your 20’s is learn how to love yourself. Until you do this, nothing else matters…

That hit home. Reading that made so much sense I couldn’t believe it. I needed to stop thinking and worrying about when I will find someone, but rather take that time and channel it into becoming the best person I can be.

I am always learning new things about myself, but am I working towards really loving myself?

I’m getting there, I have been learning, and it’s eye opening thinking deeply about who you want to be.

I want to be a good Christian, help people as much as I can, be the friend that people can rely on. I am not interested in going out and getting drunk, I was raised Catholic and therefore carry values that make me laugh when a guy asks if I want to make out the first time we hang out. No thanks! Lets get to know each other a little first, okay?

I love hockey, all food, baking, and the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”.  I hate studying, going to the gym, and the fact that I cannot eat gluten. 

I aim to be a good person. It is a simple as that, and in the process am learning about how to stand up for that girl inside.

I believe this….

Your 20’s are a delicate balance between being yourself and becoming who your want to be.

So I’m working on that. Working on becoming who I want to be, while loving who I already am. 

And maybe eventually, I will meet someone who ignites that “can’t eat can’t sleep, reach-for-the-stars, over-the-fence, World Series kind of stuff” feeling I dream about.

And it will be even greater if I love myself in the process.

Happy Living!

~M