Beaches, Milkbones, and tennis balls

Life is filled with many beautiful and wonderful moments, but also the moments where you feel like your heart is being ripped out of your chest.

Having to put a beloved pet down is one of those moments.

There is a reason there was not a dry eye in the theater during “Marley and Me”, and why so many people sympathize if they have a pet of their own. They completely get it. 

For me, there is nothing more painful than watching someone, or something you love suffer. Whether it is one of my patients, a friend or family member, or in this case my beautiful 9 year old black lab.

What kind of comfort is there when you are spending the last days with the animal who has loved you so much, completely unconditional, and was a constant shining light in your life.

There is none.

So as I am writing this, sitting next to my beautiful girl. I am thinking about the absolute suckyness of the whole situation. Why again? We lost our other lab Sally only 9 months ago, never thinking our world would come to this standstill again so soon.

Esse had fought so hard not only against the cancer, but the surgeries, and losing her leg. She became a favorite at the University of Minnesota Vet hospital (which is absolutely wonderful), and earned the affection of many including a wonderful resident doctor.

Why her God? And why so soon?

Because I am a Christian the only small comfort in this time is knowing she will be in such a better place so so soon. As much as I love her, and will feel her absence tremendously, the beaches of heaven are calling.

Filled with milkbones, tennis balls, and Sally waiting to teach her the ropes of that wonderful place.

I also thought about what she would want to tell me right now if she could.

She talks with her eyes, carrying more meaning than a conversation. She tells me she loves me not with a voice, but with her actions.

  

She is so loved, and will continue to be loved.

My heart goes out to anyone who has or will eventually lose a pet. It is awful. But they are here for a reason, and God calls them to heaven for a reason. And gosh, the view must be great.

I’ll see you again someday beautiful lady, save me a spot on the beach.

Love you so much my goofy girl.

<3 M