Not Just Kicks and Giggles

This is more of a serious post… a post in which I am completely honest about the effect gluten had on my life, and the scary periods I went through not knowing what was wrong.

I know on here I am very upbeat about my GF lifestyle… but it’s not all fun and games… if I accidentally eat it. It’s hell.

During my freshman year of college I started getting stomach problems and anxiety…. Now I had gotten this before about 2 summers before, and it went away with time, but this time I was away from home and was experiencing emotions I had never really had to deal with in my life… I am a happy, go-lucky person…. why the heck am I suddenly so anxious all of the time. Very VERY scary.  

I was throwing up almost every day, had stomach pains enough to make me want to stay in bed, and anxiety that was almost crippling..... all away from home. When I got home for Christmas break I thought it would all go away… that it was simply home-sickness and the stress of that was making me sick… but there was a big part of me that knew something was wrong, but had no idea what it was… and neither did anyone else.

After 3 weeks at home, and a visit to my doctor and a gastroenterologist who barely listened to what I had to say, none of my symptoms were getting better… they were getting worse.

So I made the impossible decision the night before I was supposed to go back to school. I decided I couldn’t handle it. The toughest decision I have ever made in my life, to leave the school I had worked tirelessly to get into, the amazing nursing program, and the friends I had made down in Omaha.

But I still had no idea what was going on with me, and going back down there was 3 steps in the wrong direction.

So I transferred to the school I am at now, that has a great nursing program, and who would accept me after their J-term had ended.

Two weeks passed with no diagnosis. Celiacs test was negative. I eventually began talking to an aunt who had recently gone gluten free, along with my cousins… She recommended an expert in Georgia who did testing for gluten-intolerance.

So, I sent my saliva hundreds of miles away and a week later got a diagnosis. Severely Gluten intolerant, with instructions to begin the Gluten-free diet immediately.

When I received the news I cried. I was so RELIEVED to have finally gotten a diagnosis, someone who believed it wasn’t just stress-related, and something I could DO to make it better.

Within the next month I was back to myself. No stomach problems. No anxiety, back to the person I knew I was…. Who would have thought a simple food I had been eating my entire life…. Could cause so much pain, and so much damage.

The last two years have been amazing, so many new friends, important events, and blessings beyond belief.

But two weeks ago my own personal hell happened again.

All of the symptoms appeared overnight.

I have never been more scared in my life. I had fought so hard staying away from those dangerous foods to make sure I never felt like that again, and here it was, the crippling symptoms that took away so much 2 years ago.

After talking to the expert in Georgia, it was confirmed that I must have consumed small bits of gluten over the last month, and my stomach reached a point where it was so inflamed that I started getting symptoms again.

~~~~ To note on the anxiety, your stomach is where 90-95 PERCENT of serotonin is produced and processed. This is the neurotransmitter that directly affects your mood. Depression, anxiety, etc. When your stomach is inflamed, these receptors become blocked, lowering the amount of serotonin your body absorbs, which accounts for the sudden onset of anxiety and poor mood. The connection still baffles me.

The best part is I am in my hardest semester of nursing school. Life doesn’t just stop and give you a month to recover. It gives you a half hour.

Homework doesn’t wait, tests don’t wait, and 6am clinicals don’t wait.

So I fought through every day, fought to get things done, fought to keep up, and dealing with the crippling fear that this wouldn’t go away. After about a week things gradually got better, my energy was up, stomach problems more infrequent, and the anxiety slowly disappearing, bringing back my happy demeanor.

During that time I asked God why. Why he needed to do this at this time, when I had so much on my plate. And I came to the conclusion that he didn’t do this to me, but gave me hardships to realize how GREAT I have it the rest of the time. There are people dealing with anxiety that doesn’t go away with the elimination of a food. People who are sick and don’t know why. So I pray for those people. And I live my life every day as a thankful Christian, who doesn’t take anything for granted.

Gluten has a devastating effect on my body, mind, and soul. And I need to be SO careful not to consume it. It’s not a joke. It’s not a game, and it’s not a “fad diet”.

So next time you get annoyed with someone drilling the waitress about whether a food has gluten, or reading the ingredients on EVERYTHING. Please remember that its not something a pill can fix. It destroys your life for weeks.

Another shout out I need to make.

To my amazing family for sticking by me and listening to hours of worried talk

To my amazing nursing friends who helped me stay on track with classes, offered kind words, and who told me to call them at any hour if I needed anything

To my amazing roommate who walked me through numerous panic moments and nights of nausea.

And to God for getting me through this, and allowing me to go back to my life as it was.

Thank you.

Now get out there and enjoy this gorgeous fall weather! More fall recipes to come!

Happy Happy Happy Living!

~M

A side note: If you are dealing with anything I descried above, or any other unexplained symptoms… Please PLEASE get tested for gluten intolerance and/or Celiacs. There are so many symptoms that are connected and going off of it can solve SO many problems. So do it. You have nothing to lose!